I awoke during the night, thinking I heard my alarm. I rolled over to look at the clock, only to discover it was only 1:00am. I made my way to the bathroom, stumbling in the dark, and then laid back down, hoping to quickly fall back to sleep.
I awoke again, this time for no apparent reason. I once again stole a glance at the clock…3:10am. Ugh…this night was taking forever and sleep was not happening. Turning away from the clock, I attempted to fall back asleep.
For the last time, I awoke, looked at the clock. It was 4:44am. Not enough time to go to back to sleep before my 5:15am alarm. I laid there for a bit, trying to motivate myself to get out of bed. I was tired, yet my mind wouldn’t stop.
I tried to distract myself, scrolling through social media, doing a little online window shopping. Finally, I made myself stumble out of bed. As I walked across the floor, dizziness took over. Normally, I reach out for something to steady myself, but today there was nothing. I bent over reaching for the floor, willing myself not to faint. I was successful.
After going through my morning routine, I was ready for some yoga and mediation. Stretching and breathing through yoga poses this morning helped to awaken my body. My mind was another story. Let me preface this by saying I am not so great at meditating to begin with on a regular day. So on a day like today, when something was keeping me awake, meditation was all the more difficult.
While I was supposed to be focusing on my breath, my mind was racing, trying to figure out where this worry was coming from. And then it hit me, in the middle of a breath, I was anticipating my appointment for the second dose of the vaccine. Oh, did it all make sense now! Worry about whether I would have side effects was setting in. That was what this was.
Finally acknowledging the worry made it a bit more manageable. But even now as I write, I am looking at the clock, counting down the hours until I leave work to head to my appointment. And then the waiting will really begin. What will the night bring? Will I be just fine like Jim (my husband)? Or will I be more like Kristy (my sister), who was sick for a few days? Only time will tell. Until then…worry on!